Shamus Plays: LOTRO, Part 21

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Sooo… the town of Combe.

Since arriving in township I've discovered that the inhabitants can beryllium metameric into two groups:

1) Idiots
2) Me

And since I'm working for people in group #1, it's completely possible that there might comprise roughly overlap between the two.

I'm working with same of the town's outstanding group #1 representatives, Ellie Cutleaf. She used to work with the brigands and claims she can give Maine directions to their den. She helped them crossbreed-spawn dogs with a warg, which is like conjugation Carassius auratus with sharks. You might indicate that it's unfair to label her an idiot if she's able to fetch those two things to mate. But I would have to enounce that taking a job fosterage ravenous dogs for the great unwashe who are trying to kill you has to go beautiful furthest towards acquiring you elected mayor of idiot townspeople.

A warg is basically an orcish murderhorse, and it kindhearted of seems like cheating for the brigands to keep stacking the betting odds when they already throw us tabu-numbered and out-brained. Then once again, IT's rather sporting of them to sub-contract the warg-breeding to one of the locals. Nice of them to mak the local economy before they come in and kill everyone.

My supposed goal is to get Ellie to help me take apart the bandit forces, but that's precisely a treat for my secret goal to find Amdir, which is just a cover for my real, actual goal, which is to make enough money to buy dress that will make masses die of envy.

Ellie wants ME to lead in and kill off all the one-half wienerwurst / half warg things she helped them raise.

It seems like it would be a circumstances easier to send the individual who raised the dogs in the first place. She could walk right up to them and strangle their stupid flossy asses while they wonderment what they did to anger mommy. Cypher would even get hurt. (Except the dogs, who would die horribly, filled with a sense of confusion and betrayal. Which is fine.) Simply instead she's sending in a pungency-moderate-size unknown.

Trips to Chetwood: 2

This must be the place. IT's a farm? The only matter around is a Canis familiaris kennel. Soh… it's a dog farm?

I poke around until I spot the uncomplete-warg / incomplete-dog beast that Ellie wants made dead. Maybe, being a female, it North Korean won't be as aggressive and I'll equal capable to kill it without a big struggle.

Aloha State in that location. Come present fill. Nice pooch, come give aunt Lulzie some snuggly-lovey.

Shit.

Well, they're flesh-sharp-set hell-dogs for sure, but they're a lot less spirited with their heads off. Once I've killed mommy, I flavor around the seat.

A rick? Is this a special farm for hay-eating brigand dogs? This is very hard to understand.

I don't see Amdir or whatever benevolent of bandit bossman. So if this is their main ground, it's lamentably understaffed. I am suspecting that peradventure this is not actually their main base. I truly hope this is because Ellie has betrayed ME and non because she's too stupid to send me to the rightmost brigand stronghold.

Let's date from to Cutleaf and find out.

As I feared, she's still on our side. When I arrive she starts talking about some plan to toxicant the brigand dogs. Her thinking is that if I can take much poison and drop it into the dog's food render, we should be able to take rid of their entire brood of warg-dogs without having to track them down in the mouth and kill each one personally. Ellie even knows a man outside Here in townspeople World Health Organization can allow for the poison.

"Just… I already killed the dogs," I protest.

"Well, ye killed the mother, but you'll still need to deal with the pups they've raised."

"And then why was poisoning the food supply the SECOND item on your to-do list?"

"I wear't follow."

"Did the mother track eat? Like, food? Sometimes?"

"Ohio yes. Like a beast amuck."

"So if I were to, say, poison the dog's food supply, wouldn't that have killed her?"

"Well, nobelium need to do that now since you dealt with her immediately," Ellie says thing-of-factly.

"That's what I'm saying, see… Look. Nevermind. The point is, I hate you."

On the upside, victimization poison is going to be a huge Labour Party-thrifty exertion. This is so much meliorate than hacking through diseased creatures and creep through with wild ruins every time something needs done. Even finer is that Leecher Cartwell is right around the corner! I don't even have to get in for his help.

Cartwell is the town herbalist and medication man, according to how humans do things. He makes his keep by making medicines, poultices, and other useful concoctions. He's a pleasant plenty fellow. Slimly unconfident and quiet as Humans snuff it, and he neglects to offer me afternoon tea despite having a fresh Mary Jane of it boiling away along the range, but he's earnest and eager to help. He listens quietly patc I excuse our plans.

He's not raring to concoct toxicant, but sanctif his soul, He's willing to do what atomic number 2 can. "If this will help make things right-hand, and so I will help," he says in his low murmuring vocalize, "I think I know just the thing! I'll need fresh honey, blackwort root, and several red berries."

"Wonderful!" I say cheerily. "Go ahead. I don't idea waiting."

I let him do his herbalist business while I help myself to a cup of his tea. It would feel a little ungainly sitting down in one of his enormous chairs, soh I take my tea standing. I hope he doesn't think of this Eastern Samoa a discourtesy. In the Shire it's rude to not offer people Camellia sinensis if you have some available, so if I am being a teensy rude it kind of evens things forbidden. Leastways, it's very nice to meet a professional who ISN't going to use me as his personal errand-runner or assassin. I begin to hum a spanking tune as I drink. This feels rather like being in the Shire for once. An oversized Shire where the robbers outnumber the townspeople and the tea tastes like bilge, merely the Shire nonetheless.

About halfway through with my transfuse I notice helium's smooth standing thither with an awkward looking at on his face. Reasoning atomic number 2 might beryllium upset just about the Camellia sinensis, I proffer the cup, "You don't bear in mind do you?"

"Oh, atomic number 102. It's just that…"

"Hmm?" I ask absent-mindedly, looking around to see if he has any biscuits out.

"It's just lid I'll need fresh honey, blackwort root, and single red berries to take a leak the poison."

"So you said!" I nod. I spy some biscuits on the tabulator-top nearby. Not fresh aside whatever stint, but I'm not unitary to complain outgoing vocal.

"And I'll pauperism help acquiring them, you see," he adds, somewhat apologetically.

I look around the room, somewhat riled. "What? Are they on a high shelf? You'Ra taller than Maine and then some. Should I fetch a stool for you?"

"No, no nobelium," he laughs. "I mean, I Don't have any of those ingredients Here."

I slam my teacup descending with a rattle. "What do you mean?" I ask horror-struck and knowing full well where this is going.

"I need you to get those ingredients if you want me to fix you the toxicant."

"What kind of alchemist are you, anyway?" I shout at him through a taste of extremely stale and bitter biscuit.

"I'm an herbalist!"

"A whateverist! How can you do your job if you Don't keep ingredients around?"

"I do give ingredients!" he protests. "Good not the ones you need!"

"When I attend the blacksmith he doesn't send me to mine some ore for him first!" Actually, I harbor't been to a human blacksmith. Maybe that is how they do things roughly here.

Helium throws his arms in the air in aggravation. "Well, I'm sad if I don't have the makings for deadly poison happening hand!"

"HONEY?" I moving ridge the dry and half-eaten biscuit at him accusingly. "Is common HONEY soh exotic that you don't keep any around?"

"No. I guess not. Actually, I'm non sure why I'd be proscribed of that."

I guess being out of honey might part explicate why he's such a bad wangle. I work to down my taste. "You are a same bad herbalist. And I didn't want to order anything before, but even your tea leaf is terrible!"

"And that's another thing!" he says raising his interpreter> "I'm trying to get extraordinary work done here, soh please plosive speech sound eating the soap-cakes and boozing altogether my joint tonic!"

Well, I had hopes that things were looking at astir, merely at present we're back to murder and tears.

The front item on our shopping list is honey. Now, most hoi polloi, when they want honey, would go to the grocer and buy some. But Cartwell has marked the spot along my mapping where I'm supposed to get the honey, and it turns out to Be some yahoo's backward yard. I have to direct the love directly from the the guy's beehive. Theft it is, then.

The second item is berries. The berries are free, copious, close at hand, and restrained by killer bears.

Suspire. I should have known I couldn't penetrate a day without having to kill a bear out. At least this will be quick.

…unless I have to gather from six bushes, in which case this will turn into a semipermanent fancy.

This bushes must glucinium some sort of Dr. Seuss-titled matter where a great tremendous bush will only develop a single berry.

The third item along my shopping list is the blackwort tooth root. Surprisingly I don't stimulate to fight bears to start it. I good have to hike to…

Trips to Chetwood: 3

…Chetwood and go into a…

…wolf den and engagement wolves.

Remember that I'm getting poison to feed to dogs. I'm poaching bears and wolves so that I can avoid militant dogs.

I riposte to Cartwell and sacrifice him the supplies, "Is that it?"

He nods, "Yes. I should have your poison in a import."

"You don't need me to go and quest after any other basic items? You don't need firewood from Mirkwood or a stimulating-spoon from Sauron's kitchen?"

He looks down at me, "You are not like the other Hobbits I've met."

"Well, you're retributory the like the humans I've met."

A few minutes later He hurries me out the threshold with my feeding bottle of poison. With that accessible, I head off to see Cutleaf again to find out where I'm going with this fresh nursing bottle of murderjuice.

Cutleaf seems satisfied, "You got the poison? Right. Now there will be a lot of guards, and so you'll atomic number 4 missing to take some friends with ye."

"Yeah. Friends. I bear those. I have thusly many that they couldn't come in here with Pine Tree State. They had to wait outside. Which is why you ne'er regard them."

"I'm sure you know best," she says warily.

"Yeah. Sol where is this den? Please don't say IT's in-"

"You'll be heading for the far root of Chetwood."

Thankfully, dealing with Cartwell has put me in the climate to end lives, or I don't think I'd have the self-command to get through this.

Adjacent Sentence: Chetwood, here I come… again.

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Shamus Young is the make fun nates Reset Button, Twenty Sided, DM of the Rings, and Stolen Pixels.

https://www.escapistmagazine.com/shamus-plays-lotro-part-21/

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